Confessions of this Gal's Sinful Heart

For years I’ve been wrestling with such pain, rejection and emotional abuse at the hands of certain people in my life.  It has been very difficult separating myself from it and walking away.  There is so much at stake leaving them behind and results in hurting innocent people in the process.  A tremendous amount of bitterness, rage, anger and unforgiveness has built up within me.  As a victim I’m absolutely entitled to feel this way.  They wronged me, they abuse me, they reject and hurt me continually.  I have every right to feel this way.  And I’ve finally make the choice to walk away even though it hurts people who don’t deserve it.  But even with that, I still feel the hatred that has been clinging to my soul.  I want to be released from these sour, twisted emotions that take hold of my heart on a continual basis.  I want to finally be free of rehearsing scenarios of how, when, and what I will say or do to one day get a even....

Recently my ego was deeply wounded  by way of the ugly mouthed neighbor.  Yes he's struck again, this time verbally attacking me with a barrage of "fat" insults.  I've mentioned him in the past in Confession #37 .  This is a man who has proven himself to be an instrument of Satan's many times over. But sadly today's post is not about this man; not really.  Unfortunately, it's about me.  It's a confession I feel compelled to make one of which results in many apologies.  The problem is my mouth, well, actually my heart.   "For out of the fullness (the overflow, the superabundance) of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34.  Because my ego was seriously wounded, anger and hatred rose up; a decision I freely made because we all know that I didn't have to entertain those feelings.  As a result I justified my foul mouthed words and evil thoughts.  What's worse is that I was almost became unaware that I was doing so until my frie...