Confessions of this Gal's Sinful Heart

In a previous post - Confession #8 to be exact - I mentioned that I'm a huge Disney fan.  I couldn't possibly pick a favorite movie, but I happen to be quite fond of Cars.  My favorite, like so many of us is Tow-Mater.  It's not his charm and humor that resonate with me but it's the fact that Mater loves all of his dents and flaws.  Each one holds an important memory to him.  He is proud of them.  Oh how I would love to embrace all my flaws and be happy to have them; every last wobbly-bit of my flawed body, heart, and soul.  Not too long ago a friend of mine who has been encouraging me to eat healthier, said something to me about loosing weight that put my self esteem out of whack.  It actually depressed me.  So I had this long conversation with God about it and then I opened my bible with the intention of thumbing through it until I found where I felt God was leading me, but the very page I landed on this verse was highlighted....

A s the saying goes, "Forgive and Forget"  That's what God does with our sin right?  The bible says, "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." Isa 43:25   The Lord is forgiving of our sins as we are to be forgiving of others.  But does that mean that we should not remember it any longer?  I can tell you that I have struggled with this.  Tossed and turned many nights over it.  Like everyone, I've had some difficult people in my life and difficult situations to forgive.  And I can say that God has worked forgiveness in my heart toward those who have wronged me, but the pain I have not forgotten.  My conclusion is, that the Lord wants me to remember.  The memory of pain reminds me to forgive.  For example when a parent instructs their child to stay away from a lit candle, but the child ignores the instruction and touches the flame anyway. The pain reminds the child not ...

I f I had to describe my high school experience in three words I would say that it was: Confusing - trying to figure out who I was and where I was going without God in my life. Depressing - Realizing that I couldn't be everything everyone else expected me to be. Alone - Lot's of acquaintances but no true friends.  My Before  Here's a picture of me from my sophomore year.  When I asked my husband what he saw in my picture his reply was an attractive and confident girl.  I may have had people fooled because of course I knew what was going on inside my heart that most people couldn't see.  I call this picture my "before".  I not only looked different but I was completely different.  When I see this picture I see a scared, shy, and lonely girl who lacked the knowledge of God.  She spent her days trying to people please and getting pretty much nowhere.  By my senior year, I was failing many of my subjects, I had to forfeit my p...

 W hile on our honeymoon my husband and I went horseback riding.  Since that was about the 2nd time in my life that I had been on a horse, and since I'm a chunky girl, I wasn't too sure about this experience.  I'm am not necessarily an adventurous person by nature, normally I live vicariously through my more adventurous friends and family.  For example roller coasters are not my thing; the thought of dropping so that I can't feel the bottom of my stomach is not a fun one!  I suppose it's because I'm a control freak.  We'll get to that in another confession, but for now it's back to our regularly scheduled program - I hate surprises.   As I was saying...I was not happy about getting on a horse.  All the other people got their horses before me; it seemed the guide had a special horse picked just for me.  The guide said in a strong cowboy accent, "Ma'am your horse is named Surprise."  Surprise?  I thought, "W...

 Angela and I at my Bridal Shower  A lthough, technically I was saved when I was about 5 or 6 years old, I didn't really start walking with the Lord until 1996.  It was the day after Christmas and I was having lunch with a friend mine, Angela, when she presented the gospel to me with God's plan of salvation.   I was concerned how this decision would effect my relationship with my husband and the rest of my family and so I politely declined the invitation.  Thankfully, she didn't not take no for an answer.  As a not-so-religious Catholic with an Aunt who was a born again Christian, whom my family labeled a "Jesus Freak" and "Bible fanatic" I was afraid, that if I accepted Christ it would hurt my marriage and my relationship with my family.  My husband and I were still newlyweds and he didn't seem interested in anything that had to do with God.  Of course I had nothing to fear, God is soooo good, a year la...

B efore you get all up in arms assuming that this is some pornographic symposium, let me explain.... I label myself "dirty" as a means of expressing the "imperfect/sinful" nature of my heart.  As a Christian woman the blood of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has made me clean, but my heart continues to sin or remain dirty until I bath in the Lords forgiveness through daily prayer in confession.  My God is transforming me more and more each day as I draw closer to Him.  My hope is that you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in Christ; that transformation does not happen over night and that we sometimes  keep getting it wrong over and again before we learn to do it right.  My name is Joanne I'm a forty-something year old living in South Florida.  My husband Vincent and I have been married going on seventeen years and we have a six year old daughter, Lexi.  In my professional life, my husband and I run a video pro...