Confessions of this Gal's Sinful Heart

T he politics of the day have found me glued to the media outlets of my choice. The ups and downs of today’s climate have found me in nail-biting anticipation for resolutions. Like everyone, I want everything to get better for us and for our country. The financial climate, the lockdowns, the pandemic, the racial unrest, the destruction of monuments, and the great divide between Americans. All of this has gotten me so out of whack. I almost forgot who God is and what He says about all these issues.   Jesus didn’t promise us a perfect life after we become His follower, He told us straight out in John 16:33, “In this world, you will have trouble.” I don’t know a single person that doesn’t or hasn’t had some troubles in their lives. God tells us not to worry over, and over again. As a matter of fact, it says “Fear not” in the Bible 365 times. That’s pretty interesting. God must know that we wake each morning with another “fear” or worry so he gave us this command one ...

For years I’ve been wrestling with such pain, rejection and emotional abuse at the hands of certain people in my life.  It has been very difficult separating myself from it and walking away.  There is so much at stake leaving them behind and results in hurting innocent people in the process.  A tremendous amount of bitterness, rage, anger and unforgiveness has built up within me.  As a victim I’m absolutely entitled to feel this way.  They wronged me, they abuse me, they reject and hurt me continually.  I have every right to feel this way.  And I’ve finally make the choice to walk away even though it hurts people who don’t deserve it.  But even with that, I still feel the hatred that has been clinging to my soul.  I want to be released from these sour, twisted emotions that take hold of my heart on a continual basis.  I want to finally be free of rehearsing scenarios of how, when, and what I will say or do to one day get a even....

Anybody else struggling to look forward to the holidays this year?  I admit that I have been.  I'm ashamed to say but every year the holidays have become harder to look forward to.  Having to make difficult decisions, missing lost loved ones, no funds, and something you look forward to taken away.  Having to choose which dysfunctional family you want to pass the time with.  Not fun. Last year, to have something more to look forward to at the holidays, I came up with a brilliant idea.  I decided that we would take a family vacation to Disney World the week before Christmas.  I planned a year in advance, I saved every penny I had, and made all our dining reservations 180 days prior.  By meticulously mapping out our vacation agenda it helped, for the most part, to take my mind off the impending gloom of the holidays.  However, the vacation did not go as I had planned, due to a financial crisis we had to take many things off the list and...

"I'm Mad as Hell and I'm not Going to Take it Anymore!"   Those are some pretty strong words hun?  Actually I'm quoting a line from a 70's movie, "Network".  In the movie a news anchor basically goes insane on camera and screams relentlessly, "I'm Mad as Hell and I'm not Going to Take it Anymore!"  Well this has been my life as of late.  In a previous post, The Bank Debacle (to read more click on the link) , I wrote about the rage I took out on the branch manager of our bank and how my anger got the best of me.  I was hoping that my anger was under control but after a few weeks have passed, I realized that just isn't so.  Let me explain: I've had a pretty rough go of things over the last few months.  I'd go into detail but it would take too much time.  Suffice it to say that there's a long list of issues one right after another that have plagued our family over this time.  Nothing horrifically t...