Before you get all up in arms assuming that this is some pornographic symposium, let me explain.... I label myself "dirty" as a means of expressing the "imperfect/sinful" nature of my heart. As a Christian woman the blood of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has made me clean, but my heart continues to sin or remain dirty until I bath in the Lords forgiveness through daily prayer in confession. My God is transforming me more and more each day as I draw closer to Him. My hope is that you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in Christ; that transformation does not happen over night and that we sometimes keep getting it wrong over and again before we learn to do it right. 
My name is Joanne I'm a forty-something year old living in South Florida. My husband Vincent and I have been married going on seventeen years and we have a six year old daughter, Lexi. In my professional life, my husband and I run a video production business and I also work part-time at my church. But by far my passion is serving on the Women's Ministry team at my church and leading a weekly bible study for mom's. I don't serve out of guilty obligation, but because the Lord has given me an absolute passion for ministering to the hearts of women and I consider it an extreme privilege to be able to serve God doing something I love. It's also a privilege because in my "dirtiness" God still sees fit to use me. I believe only God can take such a dirty, imperfect creature like me and use her to show His incredible beauty. Praise the Lord!
So why blog? So many times I fail. So many times I forget to say thank you, praise others for their hard work, and remind my family how much I love them. So many days I become depressed, complacent, and defeated. So many nights I have lacked faith and worried about out finances, our health, or livelihood. I have sent people packing from my life that I couldn't forgive, I have failed to forgive myself many times too. I judge others, and myself, and I rarely live up to the expectations I set up for myself. It's this "dirty" that I will be confessing through blogging. So if you spend your life feeling dirty join me in "confession" perhaps together we'll learn how to get it right.
Proverbs 28:13
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Thanks for blogging. Often as mothers and Christians, we feel exactly like this! Just when I say I am going to stop something (sinning in an area of my life like judging), I begin again , and I have to fall on my knees and ask Christ for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteThank you! On my knees most nights asking for God's forgiveness and grace. It's all part of the walk. So glad you can relate, and thank you for reading! : )
DeleteJoanne first let me tell you that I love you more than you will ever know, but let me also thank you for being a true sister in Christ. To expose yourself....your true self...your true feeling and emotions and thoughts...I believe that is when we can be true to ourselves, other Christians and most importantly Jesus. I mean lets be honest he already knows everything we think and feel anyway so why not be true to thy self. Often times we as Christians get so caught up in the Christian way and Church world that we think we have to act and talk a certain way. That concept has always been so bizarre to me because when you belong to the church the only qualification is that you are basically admitting that you are messed up and need Jesus. I thank God for giving me you to do this journey called life. I love you Bella! Jen Hernandez
ReplyDeleteJoanne I just came across your blog. I feel like you are writing about me (with some differences ;-) Thank you so much!
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