Confession #4 - I want to Get Away...

The Lenny Kravitz song I want to Get Away is repeating over and over in my head -

Wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

As you can probably guess, I've had a stressful day. My six year old has been extremely challenging and lately my relationship with my husband has been less than stellar. It's days like this that I find myself trying to escape the pressures of home by filling my schedule full of obligations, yes I'll meet you for coffee, okay I'll help with that project, yes I'll come to the event, party etc... I already teach a bible study one night a week, but the remainder of my nights and sometimes my weekends, I fill with other obligations. I guess I'm hoping it's just until my headache is gone, my heart is right and the problem goes away. Shameful isn't it? I would rather be away from my family than to deal with the stress.

Then some days frankly, I would love to just leave it all behind me. God doesn't want me to run away from my problems. I know He doesn't want me to quit. And honestly, I would not run away from my family. They are my responsibility, and although I do run from many challenges I don't entirely run from my responsibilities. I know I'm not the only person who wished she could run from her problems, but that doesn't solve anything. King David set a great example for us when we are deflated. He prayed:

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
      Why are you crying the blues?
   Fix my eyes on God—
      soon I'll be praising again.
   He puts a smile on my face.
      He's my God." Psalm 43:5 (The MSG)

Lord, help me to be family focused and love and care for them as you have called me to. Let me find new healthy ways to deal with my stress rather than run away. Help me to be the woman you have created me to be. Thank you for the gift of a husband and a child that love me and a home to come home to everyday. Let me not take your blessings for granted.

Confession #87: The Golden Buzzer

Today while visiting a friend, she asked if I had seen this amazing girl on AGT. I told her that I don’t watch that show but after she described this woman, I said wait, is that Nightbirde? She said yes and played the clip. This gorgeous woman with a song in her heart put herself out there in front of the entire world to compete. Then she reveals she has been suffering from this horrific cancer in her lungs and spine and liver, and she only has a 2% chance of survival. Her song an original she wrote called, “It’s okay.” I recognized the description of her because, ironically, this was the second introduction I had to the amazing Nightbirde. Just the day before I had stumbled across her one of her blog posts. An ode to the Lord that she praises God amid her pain. Coincidence? NEVER! Recently, I have had the stuffing knocked out of me. Taking blows has become somewhat routine in my life and this current situation is one of the more powerful ones. Thankfully, I do not have c

Confession #83 "It Ain't Over, Till it's Over"

You know the famous saying by the baseball great Yogi Berra, “It ain’t over till it’s over?” Well in God’s economy, it’s true! In Luke 18: 1 it says, “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” In 1999 when my husband and I purchased our home, we had no children and the plan for them was years off, so we didn’t think much about school zoning. Honestly, we thought by the time we would have to be concerned with schools we would have moved into a larger home in a better area. After all, this was our starter home. Twenty-one years later and by the grace of God, we are still here. And that school zoning problem has been an issue since our daughter became school aged. Rather than send her to our local zoned schools we opted for charter schools. Knowing we could not afford to send her to a private, or Christian school that was the best we could give her. I believe the Charter schools we sent her to are great schools, with g

Confessions of this Gal's Sinful Heart

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