Confession #51 - Choices, Choices, Choices

Like many of you, I've suffered the pain of other's actions many a time.  Flawed people who have flawed intentions leaving nasty marks on my life.  For me, giving people a place in my life has become an honor.  Not to sound crass but I am rather selective over whom I allow and who I do not allow in my world .  And some I allow but keep at a safe distance.  Truth be told, I don't know if this is a Godly approach or just a defense mechanism but because I've been hurt many times before it's become necessary for me to weed out those who add no value in my life.

As I'm realizing, many people I know have been there done that too.  But one thing is troubling me...lately I've seen many a facebook post about how God puts people in our lives for a reason and sometimes that reason is to hurt us.  Like this one for example:

Honestly I disagree.  While some relationships are God given others are by choice.  And even when God is shouting at us to avoid some people like the plague we still choose to include them in our lives.  Then when we inevitably get burned we like to think that God had a plan in that relationship.

The bible says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28.  It does not say that God gives you the people you need to hurt you and leave you to make you who you were meant to be.  Whoever wrote this quote is not quoting God.  God gives us the right to chose.  Like it or not we get to chose certain people in our lives.  No we don't get to chose our families and many a time these are the people who cause us pain, but our friends, our lovers...these people are choices.  God doesn't not necessarily put them in our path and when we chose to include them in our lives we are sometimes asking for it. 

It disturbs me to think that some people seem to basically blame God for their choices.  Then question why would a loving God allow this to happen?  God will work ALL things for the good of those who love Him.  So that means he can turn a bad choice that we make into something good for us, but He doesn't always intentionally put some people in our path for them to hurt us. 

Maybe we couldn't hear God because the beat of our heart and the passions burning within were too loud.  Maybe we heard Him but refused to listen because they just seemed so right.  Maybe we wanted to believe the best about someone rather than listen to that small still voice of reason.  Whatever the reason it was a choice.  Sorry to break it to you but God did not intentionally plan to have your heart broken.  And remember that the people we choose make choices too.  They choose to hurt us.  God doesn't tell them to, or plan it out for them to hurt us.  The hurt comes from more choices made by flawed human beings. 

So what's the lesson here?  Confession.  Confess that our dirty heart made a bad choice.  Then, listen for God and chose to make the best possible choices we can make compared to what the Bible tells us is right.  And if all else fails and we still get hurt, realize that it's not God's fault.  Please don't blame Him.  Recognize your mistake, forgive yourself, learn your lesson and move on accepting that God will work it out for good in your life.

One more thing...the pain we feel, well that's a choice too.  We can choose to allow it to destroy us or to make us stronger.  God can only work with a willing heart.  Are you willing to give it over to Him?  Even tho we may have made a bad choice you can still give Him your pain and he will give you beauty instead.

Dear Heavenly Father, tonight I lift up all the ladies who, like me, have been hurt by others.  I pray Father that our hearts would be willing to admit our mistakes and that by confessing it to you Lord you will take away our pain and work it for our good.  Teach us to make better choices and to learn from our past Lord as you mold us into the women you created us to be.  In Jesus' name I pray.  AMEN.