Confession #60 - Lines of Time

As I was putting makeup on the other morning, I noticed the lines of time beginning to form on my once soft and smooth skin.  In the past I'd always been able to excuse these as a lack of sleep but nowadays I have to come to terms with the reality that I'm getting older.  Actually, today happens to be my birthday, my 44th and with it I am reminded that fifty isn't too far away.  I didn't think I'd be freaking out about my age this year, after-all it's not a milestone birthday or anything, but to be perfectly honest, I confess that I'm am kind of freaking out a little.

I've just taken this huge leap of faith and left my job at the church because God has led myself and my family to a new church home.  I know that God has plans for my future and I know that I will be a speaker and writer working in women's ministry.  But this is still but a dream for my future, and not, as of yet, a concrete reality.  Thinking about the fact that I still have a long road to walk, time of preparation and growth, in order to reach that dream and achieve that calling leaves me a little anxious to think just how old will I be when I get there?  Honestly I have no idea why I feel this way but I do.

I'm probably not alone.  Many of you ladies can relate.  You know what it's like when you think about how much farther you have to go before you get to where you want to be.  We are always striving, climbing and reaching for more.  Like me, many of us are looking at how long the road ahead is.

On my last day at the church I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.  At the bottom of the stairs I looked up and thought, "What am I crazy?  There are too many steps.  I'm so out of shape by the time I get all the way up there I'm going to collapse."  Then the little voice inside my head told me to look down and only concentrate on one step at a time.  So I did.  Every time I was tempted to look up and see how much further I had to climb I heard that voice remind me to keep my eyes on the step I was at.  Before I knew it I was at the top and not as exhausted as I thought I'd be.

This birthday God keeps reminding me that it doesn't matter how old I may be when I reach my goal.  Abraham was very old when God first called him.  Moses didn't lead the people out of Egypt until he was 80.  Elizabeth had John the Baptist at an old age.  Sometimes God uses people that the world defines past their prime to display His immense glory.

II Corinthians 4:16-18 says, "Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear).  Through our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day.  For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!].  Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting." AMP

The Holy Spirit is that little voice inside my head reminding me to keep my head down and focus on the journey one step at a time.  It's not so tiring  that way and I will enjoy the journey ever so much more.  In the meantime, even though the dear Apostle Paul reminds us that we are decaying and wasting away, I'm going to fight it with all the marvels of our modern world.  With that said I'm headed to the spa for a day of rest, relaxation and pampering.

If your road seems as long as mine, if you feel that time isn't on your side anymore, just remember that when we're working for the Lord age and time are defied in a supernatural God.  We needn't worry about how many steps there are to climb or how long it will take.  We just need to focus on the unseen, on our God and He will do amazing things to achieve something through us that is beyond all measure.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you granting me life and that I can celebrate this life today in particular and enjoy the blessings you have given me.  Thank you that you still have a plan and purpose for this aging lady.  Bring about your glory through me no matter my age or stage in life.  Let me keep my eyes focused on you one step at a time Lord.  And Abba Father, for the ladies like me reading this who struggle with the lines of time too, please do the same.  Grant them strength and determination and make their light and momentary afflictions achieve an everlasting weight of your glory.  In Jesus' name I pray.  AMEN