Confession #81 - What you Intended Against me for Evil, God Intended for Good

God gave me the gift of writing and teaching.  I feel very blessed and humbled that He chose those gifts for me and while I have other talents, these are the two God calls me to use these most. 

Several years ago, God called me to start writing this blog, He gave me the name and guided me through several avenues and believers to bring it to fruition.
 
The first few years of writing it was a pure labor of love.  I was learning and growing as the Lord was using it to teach and grow others as well.  I had gotten great and encouraging feedback from so many of my followers too.  But as many Christians can attest, whenever God has a plan to use you, Satan has a plan to stop you.  And as time went on, I found that many times I've stepped out to use this gift, I was attacked more and more. 

For example, In my blog post Confession #62, I wrote about how I was torn apart by a group of older Christian women for the name of my blog.  It was crushing to be judged by other Christians that are supposed to love and support one another but God showed me that older does not always equal wiser…

In my blog post Confession #67, I wrote about how I choose to follow God and not man and expressed my thoughts on leaving a church body to follow a pastor rather and listening to God’s direction.  Well this very thing had been occurring in the church I attended at the time and one of the pastors of the church took a personal offense to what I wrote, she blasted me, leaving derogatory comments on my blog and then took to social media with a horrible smear campaign against me.  No matter how I tried to defend myself, she retaliated terribly.  I was deflated, I took a month off writing then bounced back in a my post  Confession #68, I wrote about how impulsively expressing "our" thoughts and criticisms without the filtering of the Holy Spirit is the work of foolishness. 

Sadly, the experience with this pastor did affect me far worse than I would have liked to admit at the time. After that, becoming my own worst critic, I wrote fewer and fewer posts and even less I published.  In the years following and in subsequent blog posts, I have admitted to drawing away from my relationship with God and congruently my desire to write had greatly diminished.  Satan had a plan to use criticism to stop me from using the gift God gave me to serve Him and was winning.
 
Happily, I have rekindled my relationship with the Lord and the fire to use these gifts has been burning within me for some time now.  The turning point came two weeks ago when my dad lost his battle with cancer.  Although yes, this has been a difficult time of grief, it has also been a time of reflection and a reminder that life is too short.  This revelation turned into a command to do God's work.  God gave me a job I haven’t been doing, He gave me this gift, and therefore, He intends me to use it to serve Him.  So, I did just that and last week I wrote my first blog post in over 2 years. 

In this post: Confession #80,  I talked about how my husband and I had been struggling with watching evil people getting away with horrible things and while we are constantly struggling.  I wrote about how God opened my eyes through Psalm 37 and reminded me about what I am to focus on and how He will deal with these evil people. 

Now look I’m not naive enough to believe that what I write is for everyone, it isn’t.  It’s probably not even for the more seasoned Christians.  I’ll leave that to the more prominent Christian pastors,

teachers, and Bible scholars of the day.  Here's the thing, I write what I write because I believe that others may also struggle with these issues and need a change in perspective.  Just like I have done with all my blog posts, I posted it to several social media site and Facebook groups to allow God to use it in other’s lives.  And guess what happened y’all?  YUP!  I got attacked, again.  A Christian brother in the faith commented that if I was a “Proverbs 31” woman that I would be too busy to be bothered by how the wicked succeed.  And while I'll admit that as a Christian, I should not be thinking about such things, I am also a fallible human being like everyone else living in a very difficult world.  I asked if he even read the blog, his reply was yes then he restated his comment that if I really was a "Proverbs 31" woman, I'd be too busy to think about such things.  I knew he had completely missed the point of my post and my ministry but using wisdom and I opted not to reply again.

Instead I waited on the Lord and as usual He spoke to me using Genesis 50:20, “As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good, in order to accomplish a day like this— to preserve the lives of many people.”  This verse is from the story of Joseph who was sold into slavery by his brothers.  They told his father that he was dead, but instead God used this situation and several other unfortunate circumstances in Joseph’s life to build his faith and to elevate him to a position in order to save Joseph’s family and many others during a severe famine.  But today God uses it to show us, all of us reading this post, that He uses Satan’s attacks on our lives and our ministries for His good if we let Him.

In one of my favorite verses, Romans 8:28, the apostle Paul writes “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose…”
I know God intends to use what I write for good in the hearts of others.  I also know that God would not have even placed that verse, Psalm 37, in the bible in the first place, if He did not know that people struggle with these thoughts.
 
Hopefully, this will be the last post I will feel drawn to write about being attacked in my ministry.  I pray that all Christians will try to exercise wisdom and discernment before allowing themselves to be used as an instrument of Satan to hurt someone else’s God given ministry.  Let us remember Colossians 3:16-17 when responding to others, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.…”

My sisters and brothers in Christ when you feel knocked down by the attacks of others remember that Satan is trying to stop you from the work God has called you to do.  Stand strong and recall James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you so much Lord that you love me so much you will not let me go unused by the Kingdom of Heaven.  Thank for the gifts and talents you gave me and the determination in my spirit to persist.  I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ who may also be struggling with harsh criticism and being attacked for the work they are doing on your behalf.  I pray for strength, and stamina, wisdom and discernment for us all.  In Jesus' precious name I pray.  AMEN