Confession #86 - I Need Super-Stretchy Faith

Ever want to be a superhero with super special powers to take on the forces of evil and save humanity?  Who's your favorite female superhero?  As women these days we have so many to choose from.  There's Wonder Woman, Black Widow, Storm, Gamora, Electra and the list goes on.  

Mine is....Dun-un-dun-ta-dah - Elastigirl!  Matriarch of the super-hero family, The Incredibles, Elastigirl can basically stretch and morph into any length and form with ease without falling apart.  She's also this super cool quick-witted, resourceful, talented, passionate, driven, and supportive wife and mom to three superhero kids.  To me she's close to perfect and while as wives and mothers we learn to be pretty flexible,  I never really imagined that in my relationship with God, He would call me to become more like her as well, that is until this morning's revelation.

Let me preface this by saying that my entire marriage my husband has worked  as a freelancer.  Technically we own our own business, but most of the work he does is on a freelance basis.  While there are certain advantages to this style of work, it can be a pretty difficult way to live.  There's no benefits paid for by someone else, if you want to take vacation, you're not getting paid for it, there's no retirement plan that's contributed on behalf of your employer, no steady once-every so often reliable paycheck, and most of all no guarantee that your client will pay you on time or even at all.  We've gone as long as 10 months before a client has paid us and some that failed to pay entirely.  When you're a corporation you have more flexibility to move money around in order to stay afloat, but as a family, you can't pay the bills, there's no money to shift, and your mortgage company doesn't care if you're last three jobs are over 60 days late on their payments.  The year 2020 would have been horrific for us if we hadn't gotten a loan.  And might I add, a loan that has to begin being paid back soon.  I only work part-time and sadly cannot feasibly work more hours for various reasons and even those hours were cut back during the pandemic as well.  

As you can imagine the loan is spent, and our resources are dwindling, so a few months ago when we heard about this incredible opportunity for my husband to partner with a local studio to work basically full time with an incredible increase in pay, it was an absolute answer to prayer.  I've been praying for years and years that he would find a client that could provide a steady income for us and here it was at the threshold right within our reach.  Every conversation he had with this client, the possibility became more and more real.  It was basically a go. 

I had finally begun to visualize us as financially set.  I could see debt being paid off, living within a real budget, repairs and needed improvements to our home being made, savings piling up and a source for retirement developing.  Everything that was happening in the world around me, quite honestly, wasn't fazing me a bit because we were going to be set.

Last night we found out that it's not looking so definite.  Although there's still a possibility of it happening, the outlook was meh.  Can you hear my world come crashing down?  Ironically Elastigirl's greatest weakness it blunt force.  And for me personally, hearing this news was like being hit with a freight train. 

As usual I sat down with the Lord this morning for my daily prayer and devotional.  Man it was difficult to worship and praise Him when it felt like my hopes and dreams were falling apart.  So instead it turned to a heart to heart.  And just like always God showed up and reminded me that my faith has to remain flexible and stay strong and steady:

Joanne, you have to reach out far sometimes with your faith to find what you want.  You have stretch like never before to stay in connection with me.  You need to exercise your faith, let it be flexible to mold you into the woman I created you to be.  Do not rely on the promises of this evil world, do not rely on a job or opportunity, but keep your connection to Me and I will bring about the answer to your prayers in My way, in My time, brining glory to Myself so that no one can doubt it was anyone but Me that brought you out of your situation.

See, it's a matter of faith.  That rubber band-like condition of the heart that is seems so secure until you have to stretch it.  My faith has been pretty good, strong, and firm for a while now, but God has decided to make me reach farther than I even thought possible to obtain what I been hoping for.  It feels like it just got moved farther away and God's calling me to reach out like Elastigirl and to stay connected to him.  After all, He's the source of my superpower and now I HAVE to stay plugged in to His source to obtain what I've been dreaming. 

Ever feel just like Elastigirl needing super-stretchy faith? James 1:3 says, "For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." and 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, "For we walk by faith, not by sight."  We can walk by faith because that is what keeps us fixed, tethered to God, knowing that wherever he leads we will always be with Him.  Sometimes that faith has to bend and mold and be flexible to stretch as far as God is bringing us. Trust God, trust His path, His process and continue being moldable and you will stay in His perfect peace and perhaps along the way you'll be a superhero who helps save others from the world.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord, I may not understand your plan, but I know one thing, I will not come unfixed from you.  Help me to have super-stretchy faith and to be moldable to reach out as far you want me to go to stay attached to you trusting no matter where you lead, or how far it may seem till I see the answers to my prayer, you're with me.  For my sisters-in-Christ who are struggling with their faith as well, I ask you give them the super power to be flexible too.  In Jesus' name I pray.  AMEN.