Confessions of this Gal's Sinful Heart

G od gave me the gift of writing and teaching.  I feel very blessed and humbled that He chose those gifts for me and while I have other talents, these are the two God calls me to use these most.  Several years ago, God called me to start writing this blog, He gave me the name and guided me through several avenues and believers to bring it to fruition.   The first few years of writing it was a pure labor of love.  I was learning and growing as the Lord was using it to teach and grow others as well.  I had gotten great and encouraging feedback from so many of my followers too.  But as many Christians can attest, whenever God has a plan to use you, Satan has a plan to stop you.  And as time went on, I found that many times I've stepped out to use this gift, I was attacked more and more.  For example, In my blog post Confession #62 , I wrote about how I was torn apart by a group of older Christian women for the name of my blog.  It was cr...

A s a Christian I look around at what is happening in this world, I think, “How can they get away with this?”  Why can wicked people get away with hurting, damaging and possibly destroying others for their own gain? Sadly, I do not even have to look at the world to see this common practice ring true, I can simply look within my own family.  People with selfish and greedy intentions taking advantage of the system and the more innocent to get what they desire.  It is so sad, it can be so infuriating and can lead to jealousy, rage and anger.  Unfortunately, I have been there my friends, believe me.  I look at all they prosper in and wonder where is ours?  Why don’t we get a break for once?  Why do they always get what they want, and their evil plans and desires always seem to be granted?  There have been moments when I have allowed these feelings to make my physically sick to my stomach.  For example, this quarantine has made it impossible...

Not much of a thriller enthusiast, I was never really drawn to sci-fi and scary movies.  My twelve year old daughter, on the other hand, loves them.  She has a love of dark things that I can't quite relate to.  As a lover of Christ, it concerns me, but that's a topic for another day. Finally indulging her curiosity, we watched the Netflix show "Stranger Things" together.  Surprisingly, after the first episode I was hooked.  Being a kid from the 80's the show is an homage to that era and includes references and music that brings me right back to my younger days. In the story there's a place, another dimension so to speak, called the "upside down".  It's a mirror of the world we live in but with darkness and alien-like matter growing everywhere and certainly danger all around.  At any given moment this horrible flesh-eating monster can capture you becoming a lifeless incubator of  it's spawn.  Gross, yet somehow still entertaining, LOL...

For years I’ve been wrestling with such pain, rejection and emotional abuse at the hands of certain people in my life.  It has been very difficult separating myself from it and walking away.  There is so much at stake leaving them behind and results in hurting innocent people in the process.  A tremendous amount of bitterness, rage, anger and unforgiveness has built up within me.  As a victim I’m absolutely entitled to feel this way.  They wronged me, they abuse me, they reject and hurt me continually.  I have every right to feel this way.  And I’ve finally make the choice to walk away even though it hurts people who don’t deserve it.  But even with that, I still feel the hatred that has been clinging to my soul.  I want to be released from these sour, twisted emotions that take hold of my heart on a continual basis.  I want to finally be free of rehearsing scenarios of how, when, and what I will say or do to one day get a even....

It's been such a long time since I've written and it feels a little strange.  Like going back to a place you haven't visited in a long while.  At the same time it feels good, it feels like home.  For a long while now I haven't been here because I've been avoiding it.  People I know, have often asked why I haven't written for so long and my answer is because I don't have anything in me to write.  I'm not so sure that's accurate. Tonight during the discussion part of my Bible Study something came up that made me realize that it's not that I didn't have anything to write, it's that my life had gotten so far from the Lord and so incredibly "dirty" that I couldn't bare to confess it to my readers. This last year and a half has been particularly painful.  I chose a new path for myself, one that has rocked my confidence and self esteem to the core. I've been hurt, lied to, used and abused; it's been a dark time for su...

Who among us doesn’t love a Unicorn?  Majestic, magical symbols of hope, love and happiness.  As a kid one of my favorite movies was “The Last Unicorn.”   Many movies have painted such beautiful pictures of these creatures of fantasy.  But they aren’t real, they are the stuff dreams are made of.  And clinging to fantasy instead of God can lead to dark places. To those of you who followed me in the past, you know that it’s been quite a while since my last post.  You might be wondering where I’ve been, so I’ll put to you plain and simple, I’ve been LOST.   Spiritually speaking, I took a wrong turn and ended up down a dead-end back alley that got me wandering for a while; a long while.  I was trying to find myself and I finally realized it wasn’t me I’d lost, it was JESUS.  I lost him because I took my eyes off the King and only focused on fantasy.  I found myself at the bottom of a pit.  Believing that if I could just cl...

In God's economy seven is a Holy number.  In the old testament seven years represents the Sabbath or Shmita year which is the year of rest.     At the end of seven years God's intention was for the land to have rest and the poor to eat, for his people to be debt-free, and Israelite slaves were to be set free. Here's just a few verses about it in the Bible: "You may plant your land for six years and gather its crops. But during the seventh year, you must leave it alone and withdraw from it. The needy among you will then be able to eat just as you do, and whatever is left over can be eaten by wild animals. This also applies to your vineyard and your olive grove." (Exodus 23:10–11) "At the end of every seven years, you shall celebrate the remission year. The idea of the remission year is that every creditor shall remit any debt owed by his neighbor and brother when God's remission year comes around. You may collect from the alien, but if you have any c...